Melanie Gapany

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mgapadmin2016

Essays, Featured

Nothing to Write Home About

Whenever I watch any of the arguably horrible television shows that entertain me, I always have to tell myself why I even bother watching these things. The acting is always over the top (although I  have mastered that breathy, punctuated, “Im lecturing you” delivery Shonda Rhimes is well known for) and the background stories for many of these characters are seldom believable. Yet, Im always dumbfounded at the capability of television writers to come up with these incredibly  ...

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Essays, Featured

My Phone Almost Killed Me

A few weeks ago, my phone began to act up. It would shut itself off as soon as unplugged, and ghost type messages to random people in my contact. At one point, it even managed to send about 42 of my unread emails into my archive.  C’est la vie. When I took it in, they told me that the battery was swelling, which is not at all scary considering the recent trend of battery explosions. As a “Florida Woman” I take no chances at becoming a potential headline. I have a  ...

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Profiles

Miami Alive: The Districts

Although Miami Alive is no longer online, my love for the 305 and everything Miami hasn’t gone anywhere. Back when the site was up, my two favorite sections were the site’s “Places and Spaces” and “Icons in the City” sections. Sure, the nightlife photos may have brought in the hits and the WMC and Art Basel guides may have gotten us some pretty great accolades, but these two columns gave us a chance to really highlight what is was that made Miami truly  ...

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Poetry

What was That: Haikus #1

I write so many of these, all of the time. Haikus are like my personal adult coloring books, they relax me and they make me laugh out loud by myself sometimes, the make me wonder If I was okay when I wrote them. Today, I share some of these older ones I recently found. #1 paper means nothing but it sure hurts when it cuts and I add lemon #2 a fake cheery voice does not cancel out or hide your assholery #3 ever want to douse your whole desk in gasoline and never come back? #4 if he wins  ...

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