What was That: Haikus #1

I write so many of these, all of the time. Haikus are like my personal adult coloring books, they relax me and they make me laugh out loud by myself sometimes, the make me wonder If I was okay when I wrote them. Today, I share some of these older ones I recently found.

paper means nothing
but it sure hurts when it cuts
and I add lemon

a fake cheery voice
does not cancel out or hide
your assholery

ever want to douse
your whole desk in gasoline
and never come back?

if he wins money
in a radio contest–
hookers and blow, man

I win at haiku
like you have no idea
its kind of a gift